Despair, Inc.

I buy calendars and other gift items from this company almost every year, and I have to say, I just love their style. This is the message that they send you once you have made a purchase. Hilarious....it's a must read!

E.L. Kersten, Ph.D Founder and COO of Despair, Inc. Let the Buyer's Remorse Begin! It's official. Your credit card number is valid. Even as we speak, money is virtually flying out of your pocket and into our bank account. As you wait an indeterminable span for the order to arrive, your enthusiasm for this purchase will wane and be replaced with an alloy of buyer's remorse tempered with unease about the ridiculous interest rates you're paying on your credit card. And Another Dissatisfied Customer™ is born! You should receive an email shortly notifying you of your order number, final cost and how to track your order status. This will only reinforce your unease, and at no additional cost! You're More than Just Another Customer You're more than just another order to us. In fact, you're the sum total of the amount you've spent with us, minus the designing, printing, fulfillment, licensing and other costs incurred to bring our products to you... Now that you've given us several dollars, feel free to share your two cents with us, as well. Satisfaction Guaranteed*! With every order made, Despair, Inc.™ offers my unlimited personal guarantee. With every credit card effectively processed, my personal satisfaction is completely guaranteed*. And it is my promise to you, the holder of someone's valid credit card information, to commit myself to even greater degrees of self-satisfaction in the days and weeks to come, as I invest your hard-earned money in ever more gratuitous and hollow displays of wealth- with which I will intimidate and demoralize my narcissistic and materialistic peers in industry. Ah, the relentless pursuit of dejection! * customer satisfaction, while theoretically possible, is neither guaranteed nor statistically likely.