Are they twins?

Dumb Twin Questions: PART II

I can honestly say that I was not prepared for the onslaught of questions that we have been asked about twins from the time we found out we were having them and even now. I do give most people credit for being polite and usually very sincere when they are asking us about the girls, but sometimes I just want to beat my head against any nearby solid object!

Here are some of our favorites, and some of our favorite responses!

• Are they twins? -No, they're triplets, we just left one at home.

Seriously? We have 2 matching carriers/car seats, matching blankets, same size little people snuggled up in there with matching little outfits! Of course they're twins! Duh!

Do they look like twins to you?

• Are they identical? -Only when they're both crying!

Now, I realize that in the beginning, during their first few months of life, that they were harder to tell apart. But, Lauren has always had dark hair, darker skin and a longer face. Tara has blonder hair, lighter skin and a round face. They do look alike in some ways but if you really took the time to look at them before asking that question, you would already know the answer.

• What are their names? -followed closely by- Why don't they rhyme?

While I appreciate that folks out there want to know what names we chose for our precious girls, what difference does it make to them? I certainly don't walk up to random people on the street asking them what their kids names are! Then, we get accosted for not having them rhyme! People have told us that we should have done "Lauren and Taryn" or "Laura and Tara". Wow. Right from the start, we wanted the girls to know that we think of them as individuals and not just one unit. I just think that "same" or "rhyming" names will not do them any favors...

• Which one is the sweet one? -or- Which one is the smart one? -or- Which one is trouble?

Why do we always have to put labels on kids? How exactly do people expect me to answer those type of questions, especially when the girls are usually standing right there with me! They do have ears, you know! I usually just smile and say, "Both!".

And last but not least, the most intrusive questions of all.

• Are they natural? -or- Did you have them naturally?

What the **** does that mean?! And why do you feel you need to know this information? I know that there are a lot of people out there who need a little kick to get pregnant (fertility drugs, etc.) and have a much greater incidence of twins or women who are using IVF and choosing to have more than 1 fertilized egg implanted. Does that make mine better than theirs? Are their children "unnatural"? Please. Oh, and did I have them naturally? Seriously? Are you asking because you want to share in my pain? Or feel better about yourself because you pushed yours out when someone else had to have risky surgery to help bring a healthy baby into this world? Yes, I did deliver them vaginally, without an epideral (not by choice) and they were an hour and 1/2 apart after 40 hours of horrible labor! Now do you feel better? Ugh.

And even after all the questions and all the explainations, I still marvel at twins and I can understand that they do draw more attention than the average child. But for pete's sake people, most parents would be very appreciative of a simple nod, a smile and maybe a "Cute Kid(s)" thrown in for good measure. We all love our children, not matter how they came into this world, and can't imagine them any other way than the way they are. That's what makes them so special and no matter what, we'll always feel privilged to call them "Ours".